Kiss

It's something far deeper
Than merely touching lips
In a secluded and familiar place.

Closer than touch,
More knowing than sure study,
And more beautiful than any
Man or God made wonder--
Though surely His hand
Touches at the heart of its
Pure and lovely act--
Lovers do more than they know
With a simple brush of lips.

Love,
Then a Kiss.

--C.R.E.

You

Could I give you the world
On a platter of silver
Inlaid with intricate gold
I'd send it your way
When you needed it most--
But you never wanted
My silly little world.

Could I catch every tear,
Sing every praise,
And buoy you up endlessly...
I'd live a full life--
But you never wanted
Me in your life.

I'll find a way someday
To end this one-sided affair,
I swear that upon all I am--
Even if you never cared
About the things I swore to you.

--C.R.E.

Life With Her

How do you go about snaring an Angel?
I know not the process or way.
But I found her one night in pain so cruel
And she chose to stay and stay.

Slowly at first, then ever faster
My cool heart found warm embrace,
With me the student and she the master
Teaching me of love by grace.

And when all seemed well and fine
That Angel all but flew from me!
And though the sun still did shine
Its rays were cold and empty.

Invariably we wandered back
Into ways old and true
And though my heart had become slack
It promptly flamed anew!

Shining with wondrous disbelief
I took your white-gloved hand in mine
And swore that I would never leave
What we had finally come to find.

--C.R.E.

Taking

You sought to change the world, boy--
And with what? Simple words penned
On ordinary paper detailing inanity at its finest?
Finely put, you failed, dear boy;
Your words went unnoticed and uncared for.

You next hoped to save the Angel with the broken smile--
You held her up, told her of Love unmatched,
Spoke extensively on absolution and regret...
And she flew away on renewed wings of glory.
She took your care and left you in the lurch.

So now you sit, careworn, used up,
And merely a shell of what you once hoped to be.
You take up once more the staunched pen,
Raise again a hopeful voice...
And rip your life back from evils' dark clutches.

Persevere, lad.
Endure and hold yourself against the tide.
The world may very well be beyond all mortal help,
Angels tend to come and go,
But happiness is yours for the taking.

Unholy

Cold and grim, I touch her face
With shaking hands and tear-soaked cheeks.
Angry, sad, and hate misplaced
My troubled heart beating weak beats.
My reflection on the gleaming blade
Shows something less than man--
A shade, indeed, a haunting shade
Has become all that I am.
These thoughts no longer truly daunt...
I accepted fate long ago.
But still, one eerie question haunts:
Who are you and why do you stare so?

--C.R.E.

Farewell for now, fair love

As it's been almost a month, I'm posting. And, while I won't take the challenge again, expect more to come.


Farewell for now, fair love.

It was once said,
“Parting is such sweet sorrow”,
But I scoff at such sentiment,
For leaving you is only a pain most exquisite.

Alas, farewell for now, fair love.

I will not leave in vain.
When I return from whence I go,
I will be Victor, Champion,
The Prince that you deserve.

But, for now, farewell, fair love.

Oh dearest one,
Will you be mine again one day?
Or will my absence cause
Our Love to decay irreparably?

Regardless... farewell for now, fair love.

With meaningful words and looks,
I take my leave and leave a promise:
I will still Love you at my return.
Can you promise me the same?

With fear I go, but even so...
Farewell for now, fair love.

—C.R.E.

So...

So... I'm kinda done. I just don't feel it lately. I've been writing them quickly, they're uninspired, and it's just a chore. ...I may post one from time to time, but no more of this one a day thing.

Parted

I came to a splitting of ways with you
One fine, blustery, and crisp winter day.
Our duet no longer sounded pleasing to the ear,
So you went left and I took the right path,
Never again to grace each other with our fine miens.

Oh the beauteous freedom of simple solitude!
I recall flying and whooping, running and loving,
Seeing and believing, hearing and wanting...
And not thinking anymore of what you once meant.
What was once the joy of my life had, as time went on,
Become burdensome and made my heart heavy.

Parting ways and finding my sweet freedom was the finest
Thing that has ever happened to the both of us.
I thank you for seeing what I could not.

--C.R.E.

Longing

Why did you have to go?
What made it necessary
For you to leave me here
Alone and wishing to be
Wherever you have gone.

Where are you now?
You left this sphere
For where, my love?
You sojourn there away from me,
But just where is there?

And now, I must raise a son
Away from his mother whom
He needs so dearly.
I must show him the world
Which he has already seen too much of.
How is this okay? How is this fair?

And why can't I hold you one last time?

--C.R.E.

Words

I burned the words she wrote to ash
And threw them above the valley nearby.
They clung to the clouds and came down
As sweet, refreshing, renewing rain.
I wept as I felt them cross my skin,
But knew not how to reply to them.
They once had meant the world to me,
But now the wet my world and make me see
The truth of the past with her.

--C.R.E.

Home

In the hallowed halls of your soul,
I hold a happy little secret.
A mansion resides there
Built only for me and mine,
And there I feel completely at home--
As long as I have you, I'm home.

--C.R.E.

Passed

We've paid our dues
And owe nothing else
To this empty place.
Follow along, now,
And I'll show you
Fullness of life.
That bitter taste
Will not touch your lips
So long as I am near...
So wait right there
And let me be
Your hands, eyes, and heart.
I am what you need
And hope to be
What you want one day.
Where will this existence
Lead the pair of us?
I think, if it's not
Too pretentious,
To a life of grand design
Where you and I will
Stay forever as ethereal beings
Full of the grace of days.

--C.R.E.

Anger

Blinding and deadly, Anger called my name not long ago.
I took his hand for a moment and saw his path:
Indeed, Loneliness, Hate, Mistrust, and Dispassion
Followed along in his silent wake, feeding on
The words and ideas he spoke so casually about.

We walked on for a moment, and I felt a chill descend--
Even the chill of death--brought on by the sure despair
Of the path we followed. But still, I trudged along.

It wasn't long before the band of demons that served him
Left us to torment other souls left to wander in dark ways...
And so I walked beside Anger for a moment, and picked his brain.
He spoke of quick action, brash words, and hidden pains.
He told me tales of truest hurt, taught me the ways of tantrums,
Blow-ups, and blustery screamings. I took it all in stride,
Uncaring, but soaking up every word for later use.

Oh that I had never walked the dark path of Anger!
It took me years to realize my mistake and, fearing the time,
I turned and ran back to where I had started only to find
That all had changed. The sad truth then hit me:
It's never so easy to take back words spoken, deeds done, or time spent.

--C.R.E.

Ode

You tore at my seams
With the looks you gave.
Shaking to my core,
I accepted your hand
And called out to the heavens,
"Is this the love
Of which you spoke?"
You spoke words to me
That brought fire to my cheeks,
And a warm, happy feeling
To my soul.
Your lips grazed mine in
The dim light of the evening,
And I had to clamp down
On my heart of hearts
To keep it from running off.
That was long ago,
But here you are...
Still mine.
Thank you.

--C.R.E.

Patterns

The clouds in the once-sunny sky
Mirror my tragic luck.
Though, luck is not the correct term
For the state of things as they are...

This reeks of times before,
Patterns set in stone long before I came.
Why? Why must I subscribe to these?
For whence my heart turns to her,
She's invariably found someone new.

Any love, any time, any beautiful young man...
I am cast aside by distance, care, or beauty
Without any concern or worry for
The sorry state into which I fall.

Barren is my lonely heart--
And patterns are to blame.
For well I know the truth of my life,
"Once my heart turns her way,
She turns the other."

--C.R.E.

You

The sun shone brightly,
The sky was its deepest shade of blue,
The birds sang sweetly...
And I had you.

The squirrels scurried along,
The frog of green hue
Croaked a sweet, sweet song...
And I had you.

We danced, then, and all was daytime.
We held one another close...
But I had been marked by my crimes
And we fell to the questions you posed.

Now, the sun seems dim!
The sky rarely shows its true blue ,
And the birds refuse to sing again...
And there's no you.

Small creatures' scurries do not amuse,
And frogs who once croaked, refuse
To let out a single sweet sound...
There's no you, and sorrow abounds.

--C.R.E.

Stay

We walked side by side for so long
Before we went our separate ways.
I now know what it feels like to lose you,
And refuse to allow such a thing again.
Stay here by my side! I beg you, love,
Keep stride with me and love me in ways
Unknown to foolish mortals...
We would be the greatest that this land
Has ever seen, so long as you stay with me.

--C.R.E.

Lifetime

I beg, do not take thy leave of me.
I wish to hold you once again,
To smell your saccharine scent again,
To know your mind's ways and wants...
I wish to know thee for a lifetime--
Or longer--but fear that we may soon
Depart from this land of unity.

Love me, dearest friend. Love me!
Take me as I am and care for me.
Dream of my face, voice, and heart...
For I dream only of yours.
Make me into something more than what I am,
Put me into thee as more than a passing fancy.
For, to me, you are life, love, and joy.

--C.R.E.

If

If I could learn to love,
I'd refuse to wait and find you now
So I could love for a lifetime.

If I could find true happiness,
I'd savor it to the end--
An end of joy, not bitterness.

Alas, I stand undone,
Waiting simply for my time to come.
A mortal waiting for divinity,
I am hoping, but not yet finding.

I'll lie in wait while in this life
And hope for love, happiness, and more.
Who's to say that hope is dead?
I still use it every day.

--C.R.E.

Scattered

Focus.

Bring them together,
Figure them out...
What makes me tick?
What emotions are racing
Through my heat-filled veins?

Lost.

I do not know this place.
I have been many other places
Filled with hate, love,
And fates worse than death...
But this a new conundrum.

Confusion.

Help me find my way, I beg.
I do not know my heart or
My all-consuming mind anymore...
The pieces of me, my heart, and mind
Have been scattered like ashes in the wind.
They fly now, taking wing and
Falling over what once was,
What may be, and what never could happen.

I am scattered.

--C.R.E.

An Angel's Love

Life laid me by one fine summer day.
My lip bloodied, my throat torn,
I cried out, "How did things end up this way?"
I received no answer, but lay there 'til morn.
Then I met the Angel with an impish grin
Who, walking along the rocky path,
Stopped and made me whole again.
She took me in and drew me a bath
Filled to the brim with love and care.
It was there I felt the weariness flee
And sorrow take leave, sure that it was ne'er
Again to fell me so hard, so completely.
I wore out my days with Angelic face
And she followed shortly when I left this race.

--C.R.E.

Joy

Where did it come from?
It snuck in stealthily,
Seeped in through some
Unknown orifice and
Changed absolutely everything!
The sun is brighter,
My heart and voice lighter,
The corners of my mouth perpetually
Turned toward the blue of the
Beauteous, infinite sky...
I swear, I never once
Noticed just how wonderful
It is to see children playing
Or saw the simple glory
Of the lightning bug
As it passes me by in the night.
Oh, Joy... Thank you for finding me.
If only, if only, others knew of you.

--C.R.E.

Gray

Gray.
My eyes are the blackest gray.
They once shone with
A billion points of
Brilliantly gleaming light...
And now, they are shrouded over
By the grim repose of darkness'
Malevolent smile.
Once they beheld the greatest of wonders:
Angel, king, man, beast, demon...
And you.
But now, they see naught but
Sad scenes of the days of long ago,
Reflected in a colorless world of
Badly constructed memories.
Simply put, the gateway to my heart
Whose colors you once marveled at
Has become overcome by
Gray.

--C.R.E.

Angels

I stood there dumbfounded
When first I saw your face.
You seemed to be surrounded
By some angelic grace.
Since then I've learned
A lot about angels and men.
Lovers love, then are spurned,
And ultimately long for "then".
Angels cannot disappoint,
But me find it all too easy to turn
Another another way... My joints
Ache from the way I yearn
After that girl with an angel's face.
Somehow, I know that her memory can't be erased.

--C.R.E.

Permanence

Something is amiss in me.
It's an empty sort of feeling,
Losing all of you.

When will I feel real again?

This reeks of permanence,
But I suppose I should have known...
What I said to you never seemed
To ring back at me.

Is this feeling forever?

I don't know how to describe the
Torn and burnt pieces of my heart...
They flutter around in my chest
Seeking hold and cohesion to no avail.

Is there a way to put it back together?

Misused, left out, dried up, dead...
These words resonate at my core.

And, still, so do you, Love.

--C.R.E.

Upon The Road of Ruin

I strayed from what I knew only to find
Myself upon a ruin'd road most unkind.
'Twas there I met a man of noblest mien
And tongue of fire who placed himself between
The path and I with his long arms held wide
And seeking to turn me from my dark stride.
He spoke to me, "Leave this place, oh brother
Dear! Go back to ways of youth and mothers'
Teachings so pure, so humble, and so bright.
Why have ye cast off the plainness of light
For tempest-tossed ways and darkness of days
And cold death? Why, you could wander in ways
Of happiness bright! Wanting for naught save
Thy brethren who strayed down to the dark cave
Of despair." He pleaded with me and all
I could do was turn on my heel and call
O'er my shoulder, "I thank you, dear brother,
For turning my gait! I'll have no other
Life but the one you spoke of--filled with love
Of life and those who surround up above!"

--C.R.E.

A Different Path

Striving for a change from
My milquetoast existence,
I walked down the road less traveled.
Along its overgrown ways and
among its many tangles of weeds
And words, I found cast aside
Dreams, neglected loves, and
The once-shining eyes of The Poet.
I took pause at these,
Marveling at their purity and
The things that could be viewed through them:
Passion, desire, reason, death,
Love, pain, joy, and hate.
I marveled at The Poet's eyes
For but a moment before reverently
Tucking them into my already-full pack.
What had made The Poet leave this track
For the track of the world?
Why had he spurned the gift of his eyes?
The answer lay ahead of me upon
The paths of the road less traveled:
The life of a visionary is a lonely existence, indeed.

--C.R.E.

Then and Now

Speak those words to me once more
Before you depart to never again
Find ways to shake me to my core
With the sweet, sweet phrases of then.

What happened to those times we had?
What changed inside your heart?
Was life with me so hard, so sad
That now you'd wish us part?

Regardless of the reasons why,
I'll take this as it surely comes.
You've taken all the tears you've cried
And turned them into feet to run.

So now you're gone and I have turned
These feelings of loss and pain
Into acceptance of the lover who spurned
Me and refused to take my name.

--C.R.E.

Felicity

Felicity must be thy name--
Or thy creed and life purpose twain--
For, dearest, no other term,
No uttered phrase could affirm
All that you represent to me.
I fear the night, for it surely means
That your departure is underway
And I must spend many long hours vying for the day.
If not Felicity, then surely Grace
Graced thy parents' lips, a face
So beautiful--an angelic sight--
that spoke of their love that night
When first you graced this mortal sphere
With thy easy presence and mind so queer.
I fell in love with that selfsame mind
And now only pray and hope to find
A way into your heart as well...
For that would it wholely swell
And burst forth from this man's chest
To become something more, to pass the test
To win your eyes, heart, mind, and soul.
My life is thick with this lovely goal.

--C.R.E.

Holding Back

I won't--
I can't--
Say it.
Maybe I'm
Simply still
In perfect pieces,
But at least
Part of me
Fears
Sure rejection.
I
Love
You...
But again,
I'll hold my peace.
You need not
Trouble yourself
With my silly
Little thoughts.
You surely
Wouldn't want
To hear those
Words from me.
From him?
But of course.
He can say
Those things to you.
He can make you melt
And cause you happiness
Far better than I had
Ever even dreamed.
So, let him speak
And let you smile...
Just let me be silent.

--C.R.E.

Us

Gears mesh, hydrogen and oxygen
Become droplets of pure liquid,
But you and I can't become one.
What is it, I wonder?
Why is my hand in yours such a
Horrid taboo? Or my fingers
Running laps in your smooth, brown hair?
I know the answer, but still I fight
The idea that you and I will soon
Come to a point of no return...
I, of course, would never let that happen!
...Right? I'd certainly like to think so--
But then, I know myself and you better than that.
It truly may be best to leave us
Dry and devoid of any self-made water.

--C.R.E.

Thank You

Because of you, I've learned so much
About who I wish to be one day.
My aim has changed, my course become clear
And all because you happened by, picked
Me up, and dusted me off.
You said you saw what glimmered beneath
The rough surface of what I presented
To the world at large. I, however,
Never understood the things you
Supposed to have seen in me...
I just try to make myself into what you hoped I'd be.

--C.R.E.

What We Became

Blow me a kiss when you go,
For you plan to part on the morrow
And wind up in places where we can't meet
And I will cry where once your feet
Walked and filled my mind's eye
With illusionary skies
Filled with dreams of you and I
That have since long run dry.

When once again we surely laugh--
As we'll cheer on one another's behalf--
We'll look back on these days
And on our silly and childish ways,
And find solace because we know
That from ourselves we did grow
Into what we now have become
For good, worse, loud, or dumb...
We created ourselves from what we learned
After we left one another, lovers spurned.

--C.R.E.

First Time

I stood there uncovered, exposed,
As uncomfortable as if I had been
Naked and you were poring over my
Skin with a magnifying glass--
But I was finally happy.
I had said it. I had let you in
On what my heart had known for oh so long...

I love you.

It was easier to say than I had supposed,
But the words held a hidden weight
That I had not counted on finding...
Water must cry a lot when it freezes--
For when I felt the sensation, I couldn't
Hold back the steady rivulets from my cheeks.
They poured down and pored over my exposed self,
Mocking, judging, condescending, and loathing.

You were silent.

And now... I look back on my first love
With a slightly heavy heart.
I cannot think back on you without some regret--
I gave you my all but you could not promise the same.
I understand, now, but it still hurts to know
That my first bout with love ended in
Utter and complete--complete as the night is
Black and cold--failure...

I see now why we could never be.
Inequality in Love breeds only heartache.

--C.R.E.

Unexpected

Where did you come from
And how did you come to
Suddenly mean so much to me?
I mean... I know you,
And have for years...
But never have I felt such
Things for you as I now
Know to be springing within me.
What do they mean?
I can't say for certain--
But I will find, dear... friend?
For our sake.

--C.R.E.

Sonnet

Nature is surely smiling at my good
Fortune and I know that I have reason
To beam back. Now I know, but never would
I have guessed before that you'd find season
With a simple being like me. But oh,
You have and it seems to be eternal.
Earth is not just smiling at but also
It seems to be to be smiling upon a fool
Like me. I've found the one thing which I sought--
That is, to love and be loved in return--
And certainly the battle was hard-fought,
But worthy of the greatest of my turns.
Thank the sky for the perfect gift of you!
Where would I be had you not caught my view?

--C.R.E.

Brother

I'll wait for the answer,
Though I fear that it may be
Something different than I wish.

Will he be okay? Will he make it through?
Will I find closure if he doesn't?
Will I ever find another piece
To fix up my life? To lose a friend...
Will I be okay?

Death is a gateway to a place
Far-off and beautiful...
Can you walk there alone?
I'd go if I thought you'd wish my company.
But no! You say that "This is the way
That it was always meant to go."

I don't know whether or not
I can buy into those words,
But I cling to them all the same.
I will forever love that spiritual
Brother... Wherever our paths
Lead us--here or beyond the grave.

--C.R.E.

Today

Shush, beauty, we can worry on the morrow's turn.
Tonight, let us dream! Let us dance and love
And carry on gaily. Let us love and let us be--
For we can consider heavy things after the long night.

For now I ask for happiness and light kisses.
I can understand your worry, but I beg,
Toss it away and find me in its place. Worry
Will do nothing for us in the end--after I have gone.

Some will cry over a loss that has not yet occurred,
But you and I still have each other and time!
Why cry now? Why live for a bleak future? Instead,
Love me today and miss me when I've gone from this sphere.

I love still. I want still. I live still...
Do not seek to change these facts by dreading my sure demise.
It will come, dear, and I will miss you terribly, but
For now... I'm here. Use this time for love, not worry.

--C.R.E.

Us

The day broke long ago,
But we haven't had
The time to fix it yet.
It's you and I now...
But I never imagined
That we would find such
Beauty in one another.
I love the unexpected,
Grin at surprises,
And laugh at the thought of us.
So, you being here
After the night has ended...
Well, it brings a smile
To my face and a laugh
To my heart.
This must surely be what love is.

--C.R.E.

Steal Away With Me From This Human Race

Take my hand and follow me to that place--
Where birds sing, the sun shines, and lovers cheer.
Steal away with me from this human race.

Let me once more make a grin light your face--
Yes, a joyous smile from ear to ear!
Take my hand and follow me to that place.

The world is full of lies and such disgrace
So let us sail from this dark and cold pier,
Steal away with me from this human race.

I know the feelings that man can erase...
Oh love, I beg, let go of all your fear,
Take my hand and follow me to that place.

In Mankind's world, you are as frail as lace,
And yes, I worry for your safety here.
Steal away with me from this human race.

And as we sojourn in beauteous grace,
We will know safety from the Demons' leer.
Take my hand and follow me to that place--
Steal away with me from this human race.

--C.R.E.

Self-Loathing

Fragile, grim, ghostly, ethereal...
I am certainly not wholly who I once was.
My once rotund smile has become gaunt
And tangled up. It no longer fires right,
Flashes passersby, or gleams with love.
Alas, I fear it is broken beyond
What I as a meek and lowly man could do
To repair its once glorious state.
And my eyes!
Oh, my poor, dull eyes. Once,
They lit up at a mere mention of mischief--
Or you--
But now, they turn downward and dazzle none,
Holding all of their gleam selfishly back.
What has happened to my once-tender words?
Are they forever cursed to be cold and uncaring?
Apathy? I knew not the meaning of the word!
And now, it has come to define my presence.
Fragile, indeed! Broken. Wispy.
Dying.
I am but a shell of my former self...
And I blame it entirely upon
What I allowed myself to leave behind,
And who I let myself become.

--C.R.E.

A Long Love

I am forced
To wonder after you
Almost daily, you know.
There is something to
The way you hold your eyes...
Some kind of a glow.
I find it entrancing,
Unfair, and adorable.
Please, my angelic consort...
Won't you respond to
My simple romancing?
I suppose it may not
Be in the stars
For you and I.
But hoping brings forth
Vast and new power...
Please come to--and stay by--
My side.

--C.R.E.

Tears

Looking back on times gone by,
I find myself with tears to cry...
So many things I wished I'd done,
So many songs I've left unsung.
And then I come to times with you--
The best of times, through and through--
And tears spring up again, you see,
But tears of joy at thoughts of you and me.
I still wish for times with you, my dear...
But know that those are nowhere near.
We've gone our ways and now are parted--
And it would be impossible for us to be restarted.

--C.R.E.

Adulthood

Splash...
It covered us then,
The glorious mud.
And we were happy.

But later--much later--
We avoided it as
If it were some
Plague-ridden thing
That sought to sully us
For sullying's sake alone.

What is it that
We do to the
Innocence of youth?
The things we once found
To be all that mattered
Now turn our stomachs
And make us blanch.

Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
We stood in the rain then
But now hide indoors
As the heavens cry.

Oh that we could return
To those simpler
And kinder times.
Alas...
Here we are:
Adults.

--C.R.E.

Your Memory

Would you smile and laugh with me once more?
Or is that far too much for me to ask for?
You are weak now, passing on from this sphere...
I'll miss you, dear... Oh that you could stay here!

You're lying there now, fading faster and faster,
Soon, I fear, you will return to The Master
And leave me alone in a way I've never known.
Stay with me, love! I cannot go it alone.

I couldn't cry when you gave up the ghost.
Though I wanted to fill an ocean from coast to coast,
I found no tears in my sad, dead eyes...
And they couldn't look away from where you lied.

Beyond all reason I released weeks after,
Tears flowing freely down my face, mocking laughter
That we once shared and smiles you gave me.
Though sad and lonely... I love your memory.

--C.R.E.

Used Up

I am
A plastic bag
Blowing in the wind.
Once I had
A goal and
A great purpose...
But now,
Having served my
Use, I have been
Carelessly tossed
Aside by those
Who once I helped.
I go now, useless,
Used up, empty,
And somber.
What have I become?

--C.R.E.

5. Unbreakable

5. Unbreakable

Everything Is All Right With Me

All could fall apart at the seams...
I’d still be wearing a smile.
Winter could come straight from spring,
I could be made to walk many miles...
Everything is all right with me.

Maybe you’ll say that I’m past caring—
It’s unhealthy, you’d cry, it’s wrong.
But here I am, I think it’s sort of daring
The way I simply keep trucking along.
Everything is all right with me.

Heartache—what’s that? Should I care?
Should I mourn? Pain? No way!
I’ll live with a full heart and the wind in my hair.
And what about life? Do you hide away?
Everything is all right with me.

I’ve lived many different ways, you know.
And through it all, all I’ve found is this—
Be you high on life or struck down low,
A silver lining is pure and simple bliss.
So, everything is all right with me.

—C.R.E.

A Simple Request

The dawn broke long ago,
But you’re still here by my side.
Promise me one simple thing;
Never take your leave of me.

I’ve been in places much like this
With other lovers and friends,
But all are gone and have disappointed.
Will you love me still tomorrow?

You feel so right to me--so beautiful
And pure--indeed, everything that
I had ever come close to dreaming of.
But others, too, have felt similar to this.

Change my pattern, dearest.
That’s all I ask.

--C.R.E.

Heart

Heart

I don't understand my heart anymore...
For still it yearns for impossible dreams.
After all this time, it's her I adore--
But she wishes little to do with me.

I'm in agony--dear, dear agony of mind--
For she found him and he, her...
And I fear that they will cross the line
That, with me, she could not endure.

He stands where I once stood,
But stands better than I ever could.
But still, my heart longs after her...
And will forever, I'm almost sure.

--C.R.E.

Lying In Wait

The past:
Happiness,
Regrets,
You and I...
Lovers.

The present:
Hopes,
Dreams,
Preparation,
You and I...
Friends.

The future:
Blurry,
Ethereal,
Unreal,
Hopeful...
You?

--C.R.E.

84. Echoes

84. Echoes

When you asked me if I could hold
To those memories—the things
We said, what we felt, and the
Heartfelt promises that we made—
I had to fight back a laugh.

The truth is, darling, I never stopped
Looking over my shoulder at
Those special times—looking
And hoping that they might
One day come true again.

The Echo of us calls sweetly to me,
But is laced with regret and derision.
It cries, “Hope for us again one day,
You silly soul, and know that we
Have little chance at what we had.
My days are now filled with other
Lovers and possibilities... Why
Would I ever return to your arms?”

Why do you ask this thing of me?
And why do I feel so hurt over it?
It must surely mean that you too
Hope for a future us, right?
However...

Insecurity is whispering another tale
Into my too-readily accepting ear.
“She simply wishes a back-up,
Friend—an endless love... Just in case.”

Which is it?
And, a better question,
Do I truly wish to know?

—C.R.E.

4. Rivalry

4. Rivalry

I'd fight him if I thought
That I could win you by
Sheer will alone.

Honestly, I love you more
Than he could ever understand--
But I suppose that that never
Really matters in the end.

You care for him, I guess...
Though, to me, he speaks
Far too freely about important
And heavy things.

Sure, I love you,
But I never said a word to you
About the deepness of my heart.
And here he is--early on he spoke
Of love and marriage and more...

While his heart was in so many
Different and unknown places...
Mine was focused on you.

And now, he has your eyes,
Your mind, and your affection...
What is this cruel and mean thing
That has become existence?

Surely this rivalry is a joke--
It should never have been a match.

--C.R.E. 

A Magnificent Life

She always held her head up high
When she spoke.
And it made us take notice,
We listened to her like our
Lives depended on her next word.

She led us into battles and treaties,
Bound our wounds and sent us off
To do what we thought was best--
Even when she knew better.

She taught us in such ways.
And now, when I see her
Barely able to lift that
Once-proud chin, her speech weak,
Her limbs diseased...
I can scarcely speak for fear of breaking.

How do I repay a mother at the end
Of her magnificent life?
I know not a word or phrase...
I have nothing that she could possibly
Take with her into that far-off realm.

How does a son repay a life?

--C.R.E.

Glass

My heart seems to be encased in glass--
With a simple note attached:
"You have the hammer, dearest...
Please break in case of emergency."

For that is what I seem to be to you...
Just a safety, just a back-up,
Just a plan for when things go south
With old whats-his-name.

Do I even matter to you?
You mean the world to me--
And, did I own it, I would give it gladly
For you and what you are to me.

My heart seems to be encased in glass--
No outside force can affect it
For good, evil, or some other unknown power.
But you, dearest, are not outside of my heart.

--C.R.E.

You

You're sort of like filling
An empty room with loved ones.
They warm it with their words
And make a person feel better.

I'm sort of like feeling alone
In that selfsame room.
No one gets it, no one can see
That they aren't really helping.

But we're sort of like two-halves
To a beautiful and complex whole.
For when we are in that room together,
I know that I am understood, loved, and happy.

You, to me, are bright days,
Sweet words, and happy thoughts.

--C.R.E.

If Only

I'd tear down mountains for you...
If I could,
Or breathe out stars for you to view...
If you would.
I'd take the color from your amber eyes...
Would you let me,
And make you something sweet to prize...
If we could only be.

But alas, alas... We are but
Passing souls on this road of life.
Destined to walk in different ruts,
And cause each others' hearts strife.

Oh how I envy the stars and moon,
For they never part--not now nor soon.

--C.R.E.

Pressure

Ugh. Horrid computer day. It just was on the fritz. I FINALLY got it working. So... In my defense, this poem was written according to the rules, just not posted due to technical difficulties.

Pressure

It built until it threatened
To break us apart. It tore
At our weakest seams
And forced our life-force
From our mean vessels.
It came to us where we lived,
Where we laughed, where
We spent our days loving...
And it turned us around.

—C.R.E.

I remember

Yes, another. I... Needed to today.

I remember
Nights spent in the rain,
Holding you close
And whispering happy thoughts
And grandiose ideas
Into your innocent
And accepting ears.
You ate them up,
I remember.
I remember days.
Days I spent laughing—
You could always make
Me smile then.
There was something about
The way you looked
At me... the way you held
Me in some high regard.
I remember it all.
I remember tears.
They fell from your perfect face
In streamlets, pooling at
Your feet and separating
Us from one another.
I remember the distance.
I remember hands and knees
And crawling back to you,
Begging for another chance.
I remember ruining that one, too.
I remember you, my love...
Do you remember me?
Please say you do.

—C.R.E.

Early Grapes

In our haste to taste the sweet flesh,
We started the harvest weeks early.
At first, we found soft and simple grapes,
Easy to pluck from the vine and eat.

Soon, some of our party found a hunger--
Insatiable, no matter the number of the grapes they ate.
They ate and ate, and soon, could no longer
Taste or enjoy their early bounty. They passed
On to different paths and we saw them no more.

Another group discarded their bounty,
Opting to wait for the time of harvest
And its real and truly satisfying fruits.
They too, left us behind, but stayed on
The horizon, beckoning us to follow.

But I took up the early-grapes, entranced by their taste...
They were the sweetest that I had ever known.
Soon, my stomach soured to them, while my mouth
Lusted after the succulent and happy taste.

In order to save my stomach, I left the early-grapes
And followed after those wise souls who waited
For the true and glorious harvest--
Whose grapes, I found, were sweeter by far
Than the early-grapes of days gone by.

--C.R.E.

Truth Be Told

Truth be told, darling,
You're always on my mind.
Morning, noon, night...
I can't end your onslaught.
But, truth be told,
I wouldn't want to anymore.

We may never be--I know...
But just feeling like this
Is a reward in itself.
After all, it was a wise person
Who said, "The quickest route
To a heavy heart is to let
True love go unnamed."

So, truth be told,
I love you dearly.

--C.R.E.

86. Picking up the Pieces

86. Picking up the Pieces

Goodbye.
You went out of my life
Like a wind through the trees—
Scarcely seen, but strongly felt.

Where to next?
Where do I go from here?
You were everything to me—
Or, everything that mattered.

I’ll be fine.
The more I say it,
The more I believe it myself.
The words are nothing more
Than the tales we tell children.

I still love you.
I don’t know that I even know
How to make myself stop...
Or that I would want to.

Goodbye.
I’ll be here if you ever feel the need
To come back and pay your respects
To the pieces you’ve broken me into—
Pieces that I’m still trying to pick up.

—C.R.E.

75. Shadows

75. Shadows

They’re lurking in the circles beneath my eyes...
Waiting for a chance to jump at my happy thoughts
And shred them into dark dreamings—indeed,
Mere shadows of their true and glorious forms.

They call to me from the formless night, saying
“Little boy, turn this way, and bend that way!
Become one with us and ours, and we will show you
The truth of horror—and how to master it.”

Leave me be, dark demons of shadow!
Let me feel the light of the sun once more,
Let me hold onto the fluffy and happy thoughts
And be free of thee and thy dark natures!

Alas, the world is heavy in my heart....
And I, being merely mortal, can do nothing on my own.

—C.R.E.

Goal

He could see the marker in the distance--
The one sure sign he had taken the right path.
His eye unyielding stayed his course,
But his feet would sometimes stray from right.

Ultimately, he passed before he reached his goal...
But angels carried his legacy on.
With help from one on high, he came upon the marker,
Took it for his own, and laid down a new one for others to follow.

--C.R.E.

Gone

Reason hasn't stopped staring at me
Since the day I left you alone.
Nor has logic stopped crying in outrage
Saying, "Foolish boy! You had
The sweeter things of the world
And you left them for what? Ease?
Some perverse sense of joy? For shame."
Could I go back and change the things I've done...
Would I? I'd like to think so.
But I suppose only God knows that answer.

--C.R.E.

Fallen

I am a lowly, lowly demon...
A being fallen far from grace.

A grace which I once knew far too well.

What lead me down this path of death?
Pride, lusts, man, and complacency.

I have but one goal now, you know.

I will turn as many souls to my will as I can...
For misery, little one, loves company.

--C.R.E.

Mastery

I long to find a place
Where every creed or race
Would take responsibility
For every step-- triumph or folly.

We walk along life's slick slope,
Nary feeling a glimmer of hope
But often feeling slighted and grim--
All because of mortal sins.

Mastery is all I seek,
A thing owned freely by the meek
But longed for by the proud of heart--
The simple question: Where to start?

The only solution in sight:
No matter the darkness of the night,
Hold to truth, love, and right...
And you'll never be far from the light.

--C.R.E.

35. Forgotten

35. Forgotten

An Ode to Your Memory

You are like a scarce-remembered dream...
The details of which are long gone,
Replaced by mere impressions of the truth.
When you left, why didn’t you come back?

Times with you are the books we read as children:
Plots and characters are all but forgotten,
Settings have not withstood the ravage of time,
But we remember snatches of scenes—
Powerful moments that grew to define us.

Where did you run off to?
Why have you left us here alone—
Never again to feel thy warm soul on our hearts?
I am left only with a small memory—
A veritable shade of the true you.

A boisterous laugh filled with the cheer of years past,
The scent of travel that you always seemed to carry...
Is this all that is left of your once-proud self?
Will we meet again? And, if we do, will I know you?
Or will you be all but forgotten?

—C.R.E.

52. Stirring of the Wind

52. Stirring of the Wind

It fills us up full,
The stirring of the wind—
Which in turn stirs up
Our hearts, minds, and souls.
It enlivens us as it changes
All it touches for the better.

In the stirring of the wind we find
A reason to move on;
Indeed, reasons to change, start fresh...
Reasons that had eluded us
Until nature found it proper to intervene.

After the change has been incited,
What may we become?
Will we rebuild our old path,
Or start anew, from the dust?

One thing is for sure:
Our lives will never be the same
After the stirring of the wind.

—C.R.E.

26. Forever and a Day

26. Forever and a day

Dearest love,
I have recently found that
I am at my most content and comfortable
When you are in my arms.

Indeed, when your saccharine scent
Fills my nose and makes
My awareness questionable, at best,
I know that I am right where I belong.

Skin to skin, hand in hand...
What could be better than being near you
At any given moment?
Being near you every given moment.

Forever could never be long enough
Where you and I are concerned.

—C.R.E.

O Death

Death is a silent and efficient stalker,
Realized only by its bitter aftertaste.

We watch its effect, but are unaffected.
We seem to only view it with passing interest.

What is death but the beginning of a new life?
For certainly, it cannot only be the end.

--C.R.E.

36. Dreamer

36. Dreamer

Why do we stare at clouds
And will them to be something else?
Is suspended water vapor
Not good or pure enough for us?
Must we re-imagine the world around us
In order for it to become acceptable?

Indeed, as humans, we aren’t
Such simple beings. We refuse
To take the normal at face value
And instead overstate the common
As something magical or rare.

Perhaps it is that very trait that makes
Up the walking complexity that is Sentience.

Or maybe, we’re simply little Dreamers.

—C.R.E.

Look

As we stare longingly
Into each others' eyes,
We run together like
Colors of paint...
Mixing, creating
Something new and
Even more beautiful.
I can see what you
Think of me, but
I can't understand it.
I have done nothing
To deserve such admiration!
I have simply loved you
The way you deserve
To be loved...
That is not enough
For that look.
I love that look,
But I beg of you--
Stop looking at me that way.
I cannot stand up to
The purity and rawness
Of it all.

--C.R.E.

For Harley

For now, I don't want to talk about it, but this is for Harley. He will be sorely missed.

They tell me that you went quickly...
Is that supposed to bring me comfort?
Still, you went, never again to grace
My eyes, ears, or touch with you.

I already miss your infectious laugh,
Your peculiar way with words,
And the way you always kept me in line...
How will I last the rest of a lifetime?

You’ll never know my loved ones—
More than anything, that knowledge hurts.
My children, my mate, my grandkids...
They’ll never know that man whom I love.

Where do we go from here?
How do we amend these thoughts and feelings?
How do we replace what he means to us?
The simple answer: we don’t.

—C.R.E.

37. Mist

37. Mist

It swallows us up
As we walk
Side by side
Down life’s rocky road...
Mist.
Mist made up of
Lies, mistrust, and pain.
But, hand in hand,
We’ll make it through
The mist all right.
We will dock our ships
In a safe and clear harbor—
Free of others’ mist
And alone with each other.

—C.R.E.

About Me

I stood in the rain tonight, just to feel it pour down on me. I felt alive for a moment and I savored the smell... It refreshed me. And then ruined me.
I... miss long hugs goodbye. And feeling a head lay on my shoulder for comfort and care. I miss her scent. And the way her hand felt in mine.
But... I don't miss her. I still have her, after all. Things are just different. Right, surprisingly. I'm okay. Just nostalgic. I miss it all, but I don't necessarily want it now. Does that make sense? Anyone?
Memory is... a disgustingly powerful and cruel mistress. When did rain stop being just rain? And songs... Songs are the worst and the best! Man... I can't listen to any of the album "Plans" by Deathcab For Cutie anymore without smiling. Or parts of Save Me San Francisco. (Rachel! Deathcab and Train. I recommend those two... haha.) I love the memories of my past, but I guess, I miss them. I long for those feelings again, but when I feel them, it just reminds me that I haven't been feeling them for a long time. If that makes sense.
This is really personal for me, by the way. I'm surprised that I'm writing about it. If you haven't noticed, I'm crazily private. I always have been. So, bear with me here... I'm trying to open up and explain myself.
I've never been in a relationship. I've come close a few times... But it always falls apart somehow. And that's okay. Very okay, in fact. I wouldn't have wanted any of what's happened to have changed.
I also, for the record, don't plan on having any form of a relationship for the next few years. Yes, years. Not until after my mission, when I can really get as serious as I'd like to be. I'm a very serious minded individual... You've noticed, I'm sure.
I guess what I'm trying(and failing) to get at is that the reason I'm glad I've never had a relationship is that I'm in no position to be looking for "the one" or "forever", but it's ultimately where my mind would go. I'm too serious. It's an oddity of me.
And so I write silly little poetry about how I would like to feel about a woman someday--indeed, how I feel that I should feel about the woman that I ultimately marry. Sorry, but it's on my mind a lot. It's how I'm wired.
Anyhow... Don't take me too seriously, any of you that read this. I'm just a silly little hopelessly romantic wanna-be-poet trying to cram my thoughts and feelings into words that I hope aren't trite and unoriginal.
I'm just me. I hope that's okay.
--C.R.E.

77. Memories

77. Memories

When did the rain stop being just rain?
Alas, even the sight of the clouds and its
Fresh and clean scent carry with them
A heavy set of memories—laced with
A blend of sweet and dangerous emotions.

When did the itchy, pale green grass
And the shade of a tall and splendid oak
Come to stand for the weight of a head
On my shoulder or the pressure of another
Hand holding mine for the first time?

Why can’t a song just mean one thing?
Indeed, some seem to have a certain sentience...
They call to me at different times, saying,
“Come. Come and feel the way you felt then—
And know that those times have past.”

To dream back on the days of long ago is
A bittersweet thing filled with joyous melancholy.
But still, I take in the sights, sounds, and smells of rain,
I roll in the grass and savor the itchy sting under the oak’s shade,
And I know the song’s consequence—but I listen all the same.

—C.R.E.

19. Tears

19. Tears

I tried to dry them,
But you pulled away
And let them fall and pool
Into what became
Like a river to me.

A river... Salty liquid
Made by the crestfallen.
Crushed hopes, countless fights,
Needless words, and anger—
More anger than I knew
I could possess.

You seemed ride that river
Away from me to a
Far-off mansion filled with
New ideas, new memories,
And a new you—No longer
The weeping waif from before,
But now a powerful, independent,
And composed woman.

My mistake:
I loved that woman the way
Little boys love little girls.

—C.R.E.

Addiction

Fixated on one "last" fix...
Is this what my life has become?
Am I so far gone—so deeply
Entrenched in this sorry thing—
That I am no longer a familiar
Face to my very own soul?

Life.
I can feel it slipping away
As I partake once more of
The very thing my heart
Decries as the bane of my existence—
A sorry existence, indeed.

I know not how, I feel not guilty,
I wish not an end, and I can not
Find a way to stop myself...
Nor can any but me stop me.

I cry dry tears as I
Tear my soul asunder.
And the smile on my face
Has become perpetual disgust—
With myself and with my sin.

"Make it end!" I plead in darkness,
Crying unto light, "Bring me back
Into thy halls of joy and eternity!
Save me from myself and this false
And fleeting sense of happiness!"

A ghostly whisper seems to fill
My ears with a simple and soul
Wrenching phrase: "Look first to
Thyself, beloved, and then unto
The heavens unto which you cry."

—C.R.E.

13. Running Away

13. Running Away

Is it easier for you?
You said it would be,
But is it?
You did it without
Thought of consequence,
Others, or of your own
Fragile state.

You told me that
Leaving was the only
Viable option for you.
“The Sun has set for me,”
You said, “and the night
Is cold and lonely.”

I tried to fix it...
But who can make
The Sun itself rise
Within a barren heart?

—C.R.E.

45. Heart Song

45. Heart Song

Don’t tell me
That the blossoms
Didn’t bloom for me.
For I know that
It was by my
Presence that they
Were nurtured and
Did spring so
Floridly forth.
My soul, my heart,
My happiness...
It must have fed them.
—And the sun!
It shines brighter today
Than it did on days prior.
Only a godly work—
Love or divine intervention—
Could make the day
Seem so focused
And light—
As though I was
Being carried on some
Seraphic wings by
A Higher Being
Whose name I know
Almost better than
My very own.
So, yes, the flowers
Surely bloomed because of
The Song of My Heart—
Whose tune I blame
Entirely upon her
And her simple grace.

—C.R.E.

Bittersweet

It smelled of you—
That room, I mean.
The place you frequented,
Lived, slept, and grew.

It made me feel hazy,
As though, all at once,
I was no longer a
Tangible being,
But something more
Ethereal and ghostly...

It made me long for
Those days that you spent
In my arms and I in
Your heart and mind—
My name was always on
Your tongue, then.

Where did they go?

It’s bittersweet, you know—
Spending time with her.
I remember the good with
A smile on my face and
A thread of gold lifting my heart,
But I long for her all the more
When I see her or smell her.
For I know that we cannot,
And will not, be together.

—C.R.E.

3. Making History

3. Making History

All of creation seems to intake sharply
At the thought of your newest discovery.
What ends will you accomplish?
What goods will you perform? Or is
Evil your dark intent? Only one thing
Is for sure—Life will never be the same.
After you have your way with it,
Will you nonchalantly toss it aside
Or cling to it lovingly as a Savior and King?

Pregnant with hope, admiration, and fear,
I will follow you regardless.
As a simple man, making my mark
Is my only moral compass—
Though a sad and meager existence,
It is, that I live day in and out.

—C.R.E.

2. Complicated

I registered for all of my classes today at orientation! I'm a strict music major now. Woohoo!
Today was pretty awesome. I found out that I tested out of two English classes, a Politics class, and a History class. Good times. I'm also doing a bunch of music classes! Yay! I'm taking 17 credits this semester... Wish me luck.
Lieto started again tonight! So great! SO much fun. I love to sing. I love music. Hence why I'm so excited for school to start.
So, we're singing for the re-dedication of a Catholic Church... In a month, I think. Gorgeous music. Beautiful singers. A wise man once said, "To perfect yourself, surround yourself with those better than you." I try to live by that.
So... I wrote another theme. About a hero of mine. Tell me what you think?

2. Complicated

The reason behind a character—
His thoughts, ideas, quirks,
Emotions, reactions, and persona.

The concept of a Legend
That changes lives who go on
To change lives who go on
To change lives who go on to...
A legacy.

That man whom I admire and
Long to be like one day—
For he has made me who I am.

The love I hold for him based upon
The knowledge that I am now
A piece of him and he a piece of me...

A Legend’s Legacy, born from
Those who know about and care for
The man behind the Legend.

And, ultimately, the love he
Has shown unto us that we
Freely hand back, multiplied.

—C.R.E.

1. Introduction

So... I'm not too original. I'm copying you, Neffy. In a sense, at least.
I have a list of 100 themes. Meet theme 1, Introduction.

P.S. This is a great idea! What a fun, difficult way to train yourself. Hence why I stole it. Don't be too angry?

It’s simple to say hello
To one you newly meet.
But what do you truly gather
From such an easy word?

We cover ourselves in this
Eternally devolving rhetoric...
A single word substituting a hundred
New and fresh thoughts.
Why is it so impossible to share
Oneself with others?

Speak to me in terms I can
Comprehend—feel, touch, taste!
Talk of dappled-light,
Crisp grass... Anything but
The trite terms we frequent
In these days of apathy and
Social retardation.

Tell me things—sweet things,
Sad things, things better left
Buried beneath social norms.
Let me in on anything,
Anything at all!
Tell me your fears, tell me your joys!
For these, my friend,
Introduce a new you to me—
A real you, left covered by
The tradition of man.

—C.R.E.

A post about me? Wow, it is.

So, I've been reading a good friend's blog(yes Rach, you) and I just love how she writes about her life and is humorous and all that jazz. It's sort of inspiring. So, I thought, why not? I'll try at least.
I recorded an album on Saturday and am stoked to hear it! Okay... so, story time. At the beginning of this year I got a bunch of guy friends together and we started an A cappella group that we ultimately named "More Than Words". It was a blast! May rolled around and we performed a bunch of the pieces we had learned in concert. Now, everyone is leaving to college and on missions, so we thought that we'd have one final blowout--an album! SO much fun. 11 songs. I'll let you know how it sounds.
Ah... I love music. And singing. Life goes well for me when I'm singing, it seems. Or... It feels as if it does.
I use ellipses a lot, if you haven't noticed. You'll get used to it... or die trying. =)
I've been writing a lot lately. But you know that, with the poems and all. I guess what I mean to say is that I've been writing even more than you've seen--prose, excess poems, etc. It's fun. I have a huge passion for it, but a long way to go for my talent to catch up with how big my passion is. Wish me luck.
I'm going to hit the hay. I'll try to do this more. Good night, all. =D

A Pair of Lovers

Sitting in the shade of a sycamore
And holding each other loosely,
A pair of lovers—
Smiling, laughing, talking—
End their day together.

Laying in a patch of mint
And locking their lips gently,
A pair of lovers—
Loving, touching, holding—
Start a life together.

Dipping their feet in a lazy river
And interlocking fingers,
A pair of lovers—
Watching, caring, protecting—
Guide a child together.

Dropping into the damp earth
And longing to touch once more,
A pair of lovers—
Silent, serene, aged—
Stare into eternity together.

—C.R.E.

My Prayer to the Sky

As I stand under the sun’s piercing gaze
Looking out at all of God’s creation
I’m just hoping that the winds and the waves
Will join in my serene jubilation.
I can’t help but to think on times long past,
Times spent in your arms and in your pure eyes.
I thought those times would last and last and last—
Until we passed to the eternal sky.
This is my prayer to the endless blue sky:
Send back that angel and her endless grace,
For I am lost without her by my side—
I need to feel her skin, to touch her face,
To simply see her gentleness once more...
On my knees, I implore some higher pow’r,
“Her time with me has not yet passed away,
I still need her presence from hour to hour!”
But though my Lord is one of sure mercy,
Such a boon, he cannot grant unto me.

—C.R.E.

Truth

So a part of me wonders whether or not anyone reads this silly little thing. Knowledge of either way won't change my mind about writing it, but I still wonder. Comment, maybe? Let me know I'm not just insanely posting to myself?

All of humanity lies in wait—
Breath captured in lungs,
Eyes fixed hungrily upon a point
Which may or may not always
Be in plain view, and counting
The tortoise-paced days—
All for what? What news comes
On the slowly growing vessel
Called Truth? What is to be learned
When it docks and spreads like
A plague through the cities of
Humanity’s soul? What is to be
Gained from pure Truth without
Thought of consequence or
Individual happiness? Who among
Human’s own could be happy
With no secrets to hold greedily to?

—C.R.E.

Children

There is no such thing as
A cynical child.
They view the world
In terms of simplicity—
This is good, and that is evil.
This is right, that is wrong.
Every child is a poet—
A pure soul willing to
Break all things down into
Easier and more evocative terms.
Every child is a hero,
An adventurer—a veritable
Odysseus or Hercules,
Willing and able to take on
Whatever we adults will throw
At them in our misunderstanding,
Cynical, close-minded way.
Oh the lessons that the simple teach!

—C.R.E.

A Poem... For YOU

The sky
Would fall
And break apart
While stars
Turned tail and
Ran to the sea
Where the water
Had emptied out
Before I’d let myself
Look away from
Thee and thy
Entrancing gaze

—C.R.E.

Yet Another

Please, I beg, do not tread on my back
Like so many others have in the past.
Treat me not like an insect underfoot,
But like a lover who knows and cares
For you and your simple grace.
I have tasted the bitterness of life,
And ask simply that you hold back
The tide of control that comes from knowing
That I would do anything and everything for you—
Out of love—and give freely of the sweetness
Of your soul—the selfsame sweetness that
Pours from every orifice of your being.

—C.R.E.

An Ode To Your Eyes

When I am at my lowest,
All seems hopeless,
Or I feel alone,
There is a place
Where I can turn for
Peace, love, and fulfillment.
That striking brown heaven
Surrounded by porcelain skin
And tawny locks,
Will forever open a door
To you, my love—
And therefore is all I
Would ever want or need
To be whole.

—C.R.E.

=D

Weary, downtrodden, broken, but not alone—
I am a traveler and foreign to this land.
I come in peace to learn of the things
Which I know little of—the ways of
Kings, knights, commoners, and serfs.
I come with nothing but what I am—
The words on my tongue and
The thoughts in my mind, but plan to leave
With a glory that will shine forth
From every crevice of my being.
For when I leave, never to return,
I will be running into the arms of my father.

—C.R.E.

Hello There

Hey all! It's been a while since I wrote anything on here other than poetry. Sorry... Just busy/lazy, I guess. For the past two days, I was up in Provo visiting one of my best friends ever: Mr. Trent Nathaniel Taylor. He's such an awesome guy. Girls: Date him. Guys: Get to know him.
I traveled up with Nikki Monnett(my best girl friend)and we all had a ball together. Nikki's such an amazing girl... I have so much respect for her. She's only 16, but you'd never guess it. She's brilliant, beautiful, funny, mature, and just... wonderful, overall. I hope she knows that about herself.
Today I gave a talk in church... I hope it went well. Other than that, I got called in to work today and have decided that I would like a new job. I love Aero, but I hate working on Sunday. More hours would be nice, too.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?
For surely, it’s not what the world sees.
We who know you, see you for who and what you are.
We who love you wish to see more and more of you.
But you hide your face and are ashamed of
The things that you oh-so-frequently do—
The very things we see and love about you.
What do you see when you look in the mirror?

—C.R.E.

Home Now... But Busy. I'll Tell You About It All Tomorrow

Come to me, darling,
For I am waiting with
Open arms and open heart
To accept your beautiful
Eyes into mine.
I can wait, dear one,
For time is nothing
To the love I have for you.
And though, for now,
You see me as naught more
Than a simple friend...
Friends make the best
Companions.

—C.R.E.

Up At Byu... But More On That Tomorrow

You ask what you mean to me
But I know not the words to say--
For what does the Sky tell the Sun?
Indeed, how does a hive thank its Queen
Or a pen its ink and ballpoint?
Without you, there is no use for me.
To me, you see, you are life--
Or, at least, the sweeter things therein.

--C.R.E.

A VERY quick one

We now part ways—
Never again to meet—
I feel a certain sadness
As I watch your sure retreat.
Why wasn’t it hard for you—
The way it was for me?
How can you leave so easily,
Like we were never to be?
I’ll move past this feeling
At some point further on...
But I hope that you mean it
And that you’re truly gone.

—C.R.E.

A Poem

I met a wandering soul—
A man with an air of hunger,
Who gazed at me with ill-intent.
As he pulled his blade and held it to me
I knew what he wanted,
And I gave him all I had.
Curiosity won me over as he
Started on his way. I asked,
“What happened, dear friend,
To bring you to this state?”
He laughed aloud and turned to me,
A dead look in his dull eyes.
“I am the problem with my life,”
He announced sadly,
“And the master of my state.”

—C.R.E.

Something Different

I have fond memories
Of that place—
A graveyard
In a far-off land.
The wind
Would blow there
All the time,
Lightly touching
Upon the lives
That visit and don’t stay.
It seemed to call
To those long past,
Saying,
“Onward, meek souls.
Onward to rest.”
But telling the visitors
To sit awhile and
Enjoy the beauty of the
House—
The home of those
Who would never
Be able
To enjoy it.

—C.R.E.

...Written After Work. It's My Only Excuse.

I humbly kneel before your grace
And ask a simple favor:
Grant to me thy warm embrace
Let me thy presence savor.
I find myself here—a stranger to
This land called Love and Joy,
But there’s not a thing I wouldn’t do
To be thought a man—not a boy.
So again I ask, likely in vain,
To stay with you forever.
I need you to cure life’s sick bane—
Indeed, you are my only endeavor.

—C.R.E.

A Quick Poem

Okay... It's short. And simple. I blame it on being a holiday weekend that I celebrate all too well.

Off to blow something else up. =)

In life, I’ve found,
Love abounds.
It leaps and runs
And overcomes.
It says “I do”,
Then stays true.
It finds, loses,
Bleeds, bruises,
Smiles, and frowns.
Love simply goes around.

—C.R.E.

Another Sonnet

As I stand on the precipice of woe,
Agony, death, and fates much more painful,
I can find no blame in any that I know—
But in myself I see the truth in full...
I am the master of my misery.
It was my devices that sent me here,
My own hands that sewed this dread livery.
Now I stand far from grace’s joyous cheer
With a choice to make for myself: destroy
Sin’s sick hold or suffer hell’s damnation?
A simple choice but harder to employ—
After done, it’s hard to change station.
Yet try I must to change my darker ways
And come fully to heaven’s hopeful light.
No longer do I wish to spend dark days
Wasting away and waiting on the night.
I will come unto my eternal life
And show the world how to rise above strife.

—C.R.E.

Yet Another Poem

I started out on a journey
To find myself a peaceful place.
I needed to gather my thoughts,
To love the world, to be away from it,
And to wonder at the beauty of things.
In all my many searchings,
I never found such a place—
That is, until I met you, my beloved.
I found that peace in you.

—C.R.E.

A Stab at a Shakespearean Sonnet

It has been such a very long time since
Your beautiful smile graced my eyes’ channel.
But, though time may pass, I cannot convince
Myself to forget you through time’s annals.
I found it quite joyous to think back on—
Those times we spent in sweet, humble embrace
Holding solely to each other and none
Else, finding peace in one another’s grace.
But now I see things diff’rently, and cry
Out against thoughts of you and your bold ways.
No matter the method or way I tried...
I was alone at the end of our days.
You were poison, beloved, fast poison
That caused my very soul to shake with ill.
Addictive liquor, to me, and reason
To leave it all behind through pow’r of will.
But now I am longing for just a taste
Of you again— though 'way I’ll surely waste.

—C.R.E.

Ode to an Angel

The first time I held
That girl with
Skin as soft as cotton,
Eyes that burn like stars,
And a voice that
To this day
Resounds in my ears,
I felt hot and cold
All at once.
I have never felt
Closer to heaven
Than when I’m near
That Angel.
For surely someone so
Mighty and holy
That evokes such emotions
Within me—a simple man
Unused to things like
Love, affection, and joy—
Can only be called an Angel.
We are parted now,
But I will always look fondly
On the times I spent
With that Angelic being.
She continues to
Paint my life.

—C.R.E.

A Villanelle

Hey all, today I wrote a Villanelle... And didn't do much else haha. I stayed up until about four last night, unable to do anything but write... I got about twenty pages done of the first part of a story I'm working on. I'm not sure how it turned out yet--I'm a bit afraid to read it. How productive can any writing done at four in the morning actually be? Anyhow, I woke up around 11:30 and did a few things around the house. Then I talked to Nikki on the phone for a while and finished my Villanelle... Tell me what you think?

Weep, weep, dear love, for now the night is here.
Alas, you could not halt their leave-taking.
Come to me, love, and I will dry your tears.

Yes, they have gone, never again to cheer
The halls that are your soul’s earthly dwelling.
Weep, weep, dear love, for now the night is here.

But I am here, sweet one, to calm your fears—
So please, cease all your sorrowful wailing.
Come to me, love, and I will dry your tears.

Whether in or out of this mortal sphere,
Together we’ll brave the night’s dark dreamings.
Weep, weep, dear love, for now the night is here.

Worry no more for them—our now-past peers.
We are only us, one in our loving.
Come to me, love, and I will dry your tears.

Now, when we lie cold and alone, you hear
The rasping breath of Death’s simple coming
Weep, weep, dear love, for now the night is here.
Come to me, love, and I will dry your tears.

—C.R.E.

Truth

Today, I worked for four hours. It was good fun! =) I then went to FHE with my ward and had a pretty all right time. Slow day, but fun. Not feeling much like writing for some reason...

I wrote it quickly, but here you are.

On a quest to prove fidelity
I sought Truth, only to find that
He lived just across the way.
His home was a gated mansion surrounded
By those who would turn me from my quest.

I fought the mass of naysayers
And begged an audience with Truth,
Saying, “I care not about the consequence
Of Truth! I wish only to find it!”
As the gates swung wide, the mob was gone.

Truth sat across from me,
A handsome young man, all at once
Smiling and carrying on pleasantly.
He spoke with a honeyed tone and
Sold himself as one with compassion for me.

I smiled at him and pleaded for an answer
To my question on her faithfulness.
He grinned back and told me, quite truthfully,
Of her stepping out. He continued his glib
Attitude as he watched my world fall apart.

As I left Truth behind I realized
With heavy heart that he had enjoyed
Tearing my life asunder. Truth had not
Set me free, he had simply made me
Prisoner to a new master: Realization.

--C.R.E.

Crossroads

I... have found that when my creative juices aren't flowing, I have a hard time writing poetry. And yet, I'm still trying; I want to keep this challenge up!

I recently joined a college ward and am trying to get used to it... I'm one of the youngest and have been astounded by the people I've met. Some are so amazing! Spiritual, intelligent, funny, mature... I just love them. And some... are less mature than I expected college students to be--to put it kindly. It's sort of like high school all over again. Yay... Anyhow, overall, I like it.

Last night was great, by the way. We ended up skipping out on bowling and wound up at my house playing Apples To Apples. There were like... 9 of us by the end, I think. We abandoned A to A partway through the night and just drew the green cards and assigned them to people around the circle. I had a blast!

Well, here's another poem. Quickly written and with little to no creative process... I just haven't been able to get into it for the past few days. Just another hurdle, I guess.

I dreamed a dream and found myself
At life’s drear crossroad, alone and at a loss.
At one hand appeared a path paved with joys:
Earthly pleasures, desires and passions that seemed
To wax and wane with the very moon itself.
And as I gazed down this well-worn path
I became at once aware of the other choice on hand:
This path was scarcely paved, trodden, or considered.
It was naught more than a game trail blazed by
Those sad few before my time—those men and women
Who knew what the supposed-ease of the world’s path truly meant.
And, as I gazed in wonder at that mean trail laid out before me,
I no longer felt alone—indeed, I had found true companionship
Only along the Road Less Traveled.

--C.R.E.

A New Challenge

Hello my fine friends! So I've taken myself up on a challenge: Alongside little snippets of my life, I'm going to write(and post) one poem a day. It's sort of an exercise in stamina, resolve, and writing. Obviously not all of the poems--if any--are going to be winners. So I'm sorry, but just bear with me, eh?

I'm super excited! Yesterday was a slow day, but great. I got a lot done at home and read some Goose Girl by Shannon Hale(a wonderful novel--I recommend it wholeheartedly!). I woke up early for bundle drops--allow me to explain. Every few mornings out of the week I wake up at 3:30 AM and go pick up and drop off paper bundles at carriers houses... Basically, I'm a paperboy to the paperboys. Go figure. Anyway... Currently, I'm watching the movie Igor, writing in this blog, and thinking about what kind of poem I want to write today... Hm.

I go in to work today at 1 and work until 6, then I'm off to a fun-filled night of Fiesta Fun, Bowling, and some sort of dinner. It'll be great! So far, I have no idea who will be there except Nikki, possibly Shayne, and maybe Kaden and Saya. I hope they all come! It was Nikki's idea--she has a coupon for Fiesta Fun and bowling--so we tried to get a bunch of people. More on that in the future.

And now... A poem.

Having become drunk from
The beauty of your smile
I had failed to notice
The poison of your tongue

So when I took it upon myself
To pursue that beauteous grin
Many found it their duty
To stop my pursuit anon

I stood in wonder at how
These so-called comrades
Could be so cold and harsh in
Their dealings with me and my happiness

I ignored the sage advice of those
Well-meaning well-wishers
And found, through hardship,
Just how caustic you truly are

Oft times we find ourselves
Holding solely to our own understanding
And finding the wisdom of those
More objective than us fraught with error

Who knows us more truly?
Our own, inner selves...
Or those whom we've entrusted
With our love and friendship?

--C.R.E.

A Few Simple Poems

So, for some reason I have just been writing a lot of poetry lately. Don't get used to it, but here are a few. Please, if anyone out there is listening, tell me what you think--if you like something, mention it, if something wasn't good, tell me! I want to know!

Moved On

Step out of my mind, love
Leave my sight and take
Your song from my ears.
But nothing can sever
Your tie to my heart.
It calls in the stillness of the night—
Calls out your soul’s name,
Searches every corner of
Every place that we ever visited…
But of course, you’d moved on
From those lesser realms.
You walk now with Higher Beings.

—C.R.E.

The Kingdom of the Brokenhearted

Hail, hail to the Kingdom of the Brokenhearted!
Thy streets are paved with well-wishes and bold-faced lies,
Thy citizens waltz to the music of an infamous band of Demons—
Wanton beings inciting Anger, Envy, Spite, Derision, and Mistrust.

I know of your demonic King and of his cruel royalty—and still
I come to you on bended knee to beg entry to your loneliness.
For nothing of your Kingdom, no Demon, no man, no despairing wraith…
Could show to me the exquisite pain that losing her has.

I long to bask in thy solitude, O city of Dark Dreamings.
I desire anything to change my mind from thoughts of her.
For I would rather spend an eternity alone with a million
Other Brokenhearts than spend the rest of a lifetime thinking only of you.

—C.R.E.


Love

The world, it seems, is smiling at me.
And yes, I believe the sun and moon
To be but estranged friends, longing to meet.
For now I know of the sweeter meats of life—
I have fallen irreparably in love.
Why do I love her? A silly question
Asked only by those who have never drunk
From the Seraphic Pools of Love’s pure feeling.
There is no singular reason for such an emotion—
No reasonable way to present such a happy madness.
Though I suppose I could simply counter,
“I love her for all the reasons a man can
Love a woman of her caliber.” It would not do
The blinding truth of the matter any form of justice.
For, my sad and inexperienced friend, if ever
A single sentence can describe a pure emotion such as this...
Then surely it is not so pure.
For though wise men say the most exquisite
Things in life are indeed the simplest,
Love transcends any attempts made by the “wisdom” of men.

—C.R.E.

Being of First Poems and the Asking of Opinions

So here it is: The First Poem. I'm finally living up to the name of this blog--which, for the record, is meant more metaphorically than literally. I don't expect poetry to be the main aspect of this blog; I believe a blog written by me should, in turn, be predominately about me. That being said, expect some of my writings, musings, and poem-ings(now a word) from time to time.

So, anyone out there in wide ranges of the internet, I humbly ask an honest opinion--preferably your own ;)--of this "Meager" poem.

A Meager Record

For future generations,
I penned a meager record
Comprising lies I’d lied,
Mistakes I’d failed to avoid,
And life I couldn’t live.

I begged the unknown readers,
“Learn from my example!
Do not take your lives
Down the well-traversed paths
Of glib-encircled woe.”

I know not whether any
Will entertain my mean discourse—
Indeed, my only hope can be
That at least a single soul will see
A list of things better left undone.

--C.R.E.

P.S. When this post was written, the blog was still called "In Living Poetry". Hence the reference to the name. =) Sorry if I caused any confusion... but isn't the current name much more pleasant?

First Times, New Experiences, and Old Memories

I'm not entirely positive as to why I'm actually doing this. I've tentatively tried blogging in the past, found no real joy in it, and left it to others who more readily open up their minds and lives (or lack thereof) to the nameless and faceless "series of tubes" that we call the internet. Alas, here I am, blogging.

I'll keep this, my first post, short and simple--indeed, I won't even cram any homegrown, grassroots poetry down your collective gullet and ask for opinions that will ultimately be watered down half-truths at best--and end with this lovely thought: If I'm unproductively using my time to write this thing, then what would you call your time spent reading it? I'd actually like to know.

Signed as truly as possible,
C.R.E.