Parted

I came to a splitting of ways with you
One fine, blustery, and crisp winter day.
Our duet no longer sounded pleasing to the ear,
So you went left and I took the right path,
Never again to grace each other with our fine miens.

Oh the beauteous freedom of simple solitude!
I recall flying and whooping, running and loving,
Seeing and believing, hearing and wanting...
And not thinking anymore of what you once meant.
What was once the joy of my life had, as time went on,
Become burdensome and made my heart heavy.

Parting ways and finding my sweet freedom was the finest
Thing that has ever happened to the both of us.
I thank you for seeing what I could not.

--C.R.E.

Longing

Why did you have to go?
What made it necessary
For you to leave me here
Alone and wishing to be
Wherever you have gone.

Where are you now?
You left this sphere
For where, my love?
You sojourn there away from me,
But just where is there?

And now, I must raise a son
Away from his mother whom
He needs so dearly.
I must show him the world
Which he has already seen too much of.
How is this okay? How is this fair?

And why can't I hold you one last time?

--C.R.E.

Words

I burned the words she wrote to ash
And threw them above the valley nearby.
They clung to the clouds and came down
As sweet, refreshing, renewing rain.
I wept as I felt them cross my skin,
But knew not how to reply to them.
They once had meant the world to me,
But now the wet my world and make me see
The truth of the past with her.

--C.R.E.

Home

In the hallowed halls of your soul,
I hold a happy little secret.
A mansion resides there
Built only for me and mine,
And there I feel completely at home--
As long as I have you, I'm home.

--C.R.E.

Passed

We've paid our dues
And owe nothing else
To this empty place.
Follow along, now,
And I'll show you
Fullness of life.
That bitter taste
Will not touch your lips
So long as I am near...
So wait right there
And let me be
Your hands, eyes, and heart.
I am what you need
And hope to be
What you want one day.
Where will this existence
Lead the pair of us?
I think, if it's not
Too pretentious,
To a life of grand design
Where you and I will
Stay forever as ethereal beings
Full of the grace of days.

--C.R.E.

Anger

Blinding and deadly, Anger called my name not long ago.
I took his hand for a moment and saw his path:
Indeed, Loneliness, Hate, Mistrust, and Dispassion
Followed along in his silent wake, feeding on
The words and ideas he spoke so casually about.

We walked on for a moment, and I felt a chill descend--
Even the chill of death--brought on by the sure despair
Of the path we followed. But still, I trudged along.

It wasn't long before the band of demons that served him
Left us to torment other souls left to wander in dark ways...
And so I walked beside Anger for a moment, and picked his brain.
He spoke of quick action, brash words, and hidden pains.
He told me tales of truest hurt, taught me the ways of tantrums,
Blow-ups, and blustery screamings. I took it all in stride,
Uncaring, but soaking up every word for later use.

Oh that I had never walked the dark path of Anger!
It took me years to realize my mistake and, fearing the time,
I turned and ran back to where I had started only to find
That all had changed. The sad truth then hit me:
It's never so easy to take back words spoken, deeds done, or time spent.

--C.R.E.

Ode

You tore at my seams
With the looks you gave.
Shaking to my core,
I accepted your hand
And called out to the heavens,
"Is this the love
Of which you spoke?"
You spoke words to me
That brought fire to my cheeks,
And a warm, happy feeling
To my soul.
Your lips grazed mine in
The dim light of the evening,
And I had to clamp down
On my heart of hearts
To keep it from running off.
That was long ago,
But here you are...
Still mine.
Thank you.

--C.R.E.

Patterns

The clouds in the once-sunny sky
Mirror my tragic luck.
Though, luck is not the correct term
For the state of things as they are...

This reeks of times before,
Patterns set in stone long before I came.
Why? Why must I subscribe to these?
For whence my heart turns to her,
She's invariably found someone new.

Any love, any time, any beautiful young man...
I am cast aside by distance, care, or beauty
Without any concern or worry for
The sorry state into which I fall.

Barren is my lonely heart--
And patterns are to blame.
For well I know the truth of my life,
"Once my heart turns her way,
She turns the other."

--C.R.E.

You

The sun shone brightly,
The sky was its deepest shade of blue,
The birds sang sweetly...
And I had you.

The squirrels scurried along,
The frog of green hue
Croaked a sweet, sweet song...
And I had you.

We danced, then, and all was daytime.
We held one another close...
But I had been marked by my crimes
And we fell to the questions you posed.

Now, the sun seems dim!
The sky rarely shows its true blue ,
And the birds refuse to sing again...
And there's no you.

Small creatures' scurries do not amuse,
And frogs who once croaked, refuse
To let out a single sweet sound...
There's no you, and sorrow abounds.

--C.R.E.

Stay

We walked side by side for so long
Before we went our separate ways.
I now know what it feels like to lose you,
And refuse to allow such a thing again.
Stay here by my side! I beg you, love,
Keep stride with me and love me in ways
Unknown to foolish mortals...
We would be the greatest that this land
Has ever seen, so long as you stay with me.

--C.R.E.

Lifetime

I beg, do not take thy leave of me.
I wish to hold you once again,
To smell your saccharine scent again,
To know your mind's ways and wants...
I wish to know thee for a lifetime--
Or longer--but fear that we may soon
Depart from this land of unity.

Love me, dearest friend. Love me!
Take me as I am and care for me.
Dream of my face, voice, and heart...
For I dream only of yours.
Make me into something more than what I am,
Put me into thee as more than a passing fancy.
For, to me, you are life, love, and joy.

--C.R.E.

If

If I could learn to love,
I'd refuse to wait and find you now
So I could love for a lifetime.

If I could find true happiness,
I'd savor it to the end--
An end of joy, not bitterness.

Alas, I stand undone,
Waiting simply for my time to come.
A mortal waiting for divinity,
I am hoping, but not yet finding.

I'll lie in wait while in this life
And hope for love, happiness, and more.
Who's to say that hope is dead?
I still use it every day.

--C.R.E.

Scattered

Focus.

Bring them together,
Figure them out...
What makes me tick?
What emotions are racing
Through my heat-filled veins?

Lost.

I do not know this place.
I have been many other places
Filled with hate, love,
And fates worse than death...
But this a new conundrum.

Confusion.

Help me find my way, I beg.
I do not know my heart or
My all-consuming mind anymore...
The pieces of me, my heart, and mind
Have been scattered like ashes in the wind.
They fly now, taking wing and
Falling over what once was,
What may be, and what never could happen.

I am scattered.

--C.R.E.

An Angel's Love

Life laid me by one fine summer day.
My lip bloodied, my throat torn,
I cried out, "How did things end up this way?"
I received no answer, but lay there 'til morn.
Then I met the Angel with an impish grin
Who, walking along the rocky path,
Stopped and made me whole again.
She took me in and drew me a bath
Filled to the brim with love and care.
It was there I felt the weariness flee
And sorrow take leave, sure that it was ne'er
Again to fell me so hard, so completely.
I wore out my days with Angelic face
And she followed shortly when I left this race.

--C.R.E.

Joy

Where did it come from?
It snuck in stealthily,
Seeped in through some
Unknown orifice and
Changed absolutely everything!
The sun is brighter,
My heart and voice lighter,
The corners of my mouth perpetually
Turned toward the blue of the
Beauteous, infinite sky...
I swear, I never once
Noticed just how wonderful
It is to see children playing
Or saw the simple glory
Of the lightning bug
As it passes me by in the night.
Oh, Joy... Thank you for finding me.
If only, if only, others knew of you.

--C.R.E.

Gray

Gray.
My eyes are the blackest gray.
They once shone with
A billion points of
Brilliantly gleaming light...
And now, they are shrouded over
By the grim repose of darkness'
Malevolent smile.
Once they beheld the greatest of wonders:
Angel, king, man, beast, demon...
And you.
But now, they see naught but
Sad scenes of the days of long ago,
Reflected in a colorless world of
Badly constructed memories.
Simply put, the gateway to my heart
Whose colors you once marveled at
Has become overcome by
Gray.

--C.R.E.

Angels

I stood there dumbfounded
When first I saw your face.
You seemed to be surrounded
By some angelic grace.
Since then I've learned
A lot about angels and men.
Lovers love, then are spurned,
And ultimately long for "then".
Angels cannot disappoint,
But me find it all too easy to turn
Another another way... My joints
Ache from the way I yearn
After that girl with an angel's face.
Somehow, I know that her memory can't be erased.

--C.R.E.

Permanence

Something is amiss in me.
It's an empty sort of feeling,
Losing all of you.

When will I feel real again?

This reeks of permanence,
But I suppose I should have known...
What I said to you never seemed
To ring back at me.

Is this feeling forever?

I don't know how to describe the
Torn and burnt pieces of my heart...
They flutter around in my chest
Seeking hold and cohesion to no avail.

Is there a way to put it back together?

Misused, left out, dried up, dead...
These words resonate at my core.

And, still, so do you, Love.

--C.R.E.

Upon The Road of Ruin

I strayed from what I knew only to find
Myself upon a ruin'd road most unkind.
'Twas there I met a man of noblest mien
And tongue of fire who placed himself between
The path and I with his long arms held wide
And seeking to turn me from my dark stride.
He spoke to me, "Leave this place, oh brother
Dear! Go back to ways of youth and mothers'
Teachings so pure, so humble, and so bright.
Why have ye cast off the plainness of light
For tempest-tossed ways and darkness of days
And cold death? Why, you could wander in ways
Of happiness bright! Wanting for naught save
Thy brethren who strayed down to the dark cave
Of despair." He pleaded with me and all
I could do was turn on my heel and call
O'er my shoulder, "I thank you, dear brother,
For turning my gait! I'll have no other
Life but the one you spoke of--filled with love
Of life and those who surround up above!"

--C.R.E.

A Different Path

Striving for a change from
My milquetoast existence,
I walked down the road less traveled.
Along its overgrown ways and
among its many tangles of weeds
And words, I found cast aside
Dreams, neglected loves, and
The once-shining eyes of The Poet.
I took pause at these,
Marveling at their purity and
The things that could be viewed through them:
Passion, desire, reason, death,
Love, pain, joy, and hate.
I marveled at The Poet's eyes
For but a moment before reverently
Tucking them into my already-full pack.
What had made The Poet leave this track
For the track of the world?
Why had he spurned the gift of his eyes?
The answer lay ahead of me upon
The paths of the road less traveled:
The life of a visionary is a lonely existence, indeed.

--C.R.E.

Then and Now

Speak those words to me once more
Before you depart to never again
Find ways to shake me to my core
With the sweet, sweet phrases of then.

What happened to those times we had?
What changed inside your heart?
Was life with me so hard, so sad
That now you'd wish us part?

Regardless of the reasons why,
I'll take this as it surely comes.
You've taken all the tears you've cried
And turned them into feet to run.

So now you're gone and I have turned
These feelings of loss and pain
Into acceptance of the lover who spurned
Me and refused to take my name.

--C.R.E.

Felicity

Felicity must be thy name--
Or thy creed and life purpose twain--
For, dearest, no other term,
No uttered phrase could affirm
All that you represent to me.
I fear the night, for it surely means
That your departure is underway
And I must spend many long hours vying for the day.
If not Felicity, then surely Grace
Graced thy parents' lips, a face
So beautiful--an angelic sight--
that spoke of their love that night
When first you graced this mortal sphere
With thy easy presence and mind so queer.
I fell in love with that selfsame mind
And now only pray and hope to find
A way into your heart as well...
For that would it wholely swell
And burst forth from this man's chest
To become something more, to pass the test
To win your eyes, heart, mind, and soul.
My life is thick with this lovely goal.

--C.R.E.

Holding Back

I won't--
I can't--
Say it.
Maybe I'm
Simply still
In perfect pieces,
But at least
Part of me
Fears
Sure rejection.
I
Love
You...
But again,
I'll hold my peace.
You need not
Trouble yourself
With my silly
Little thoughts.
You surely
Wouldn't want
To hear those
Words from me.
From him?
But of course.
He can say
Those things to you.
He can make you melt
And cause you happiness
Far better than I had
Ever even dreamed.
So, let him speak
And let you smile...
Just let me be silent.

--C.R.E.

Us

Gears mesh, hydrogen and oxygen
Become droplets of pure liquid,
But you and I can't become one.
What is it, I wonder?
Why is my hand in yours such a
Horrid taboo? Or my fingers
Running laps in your smooth, brown hair?
I know the answer, but still I fight
The idea that you and I will soon
Come to a point of no return...
I, of course, would never let that happen!
...Right? I'd certainly like to think so--
But then, I know myself and you better than that.
It truly may be best to leave us
Dry and devoid of any self-made water.

--C.R.E.

Thank You

Because of you, I've learned so much
About who I wish to be one day.
My aim has changed, my course become clear
And all because you happened by, picked
Me up, and dusted me off.
You said you saw what glimmered beneath
The rough surface of what I presented
To the world at large. I, however,
Never understood the things you
Supposed to have seen in me...
I just try to make myself into what you hoped I'd be.

--C.R.E.

What We Became

Blow me a kiss when you go,
For you plan to part on the morrow
And wind up in places where we can't meet
And I will cry where once your feet
Walked and filled my mind's eye
With illusionary skies
Filled with dreams of you and I
That have since long run dry.

When once again we surely laugh--
As we'll cheer on one another's behalf--
We'll look back on these days
And on our silly and childish ways,
And find solace because we know
That from ourselves we did grow
Into what we now have become
For good, worse, loud, or dumb...
We created ourselves from what we learned
After we left one another, lovers spurned.

--C.R.E.

First Time

I stood there uncovered, exposed,
As uncomfortable as if I had been
Naked and you were poring over my
Skin with a magnifying glass--
But I was finally happy.
I had said it. I had let you in
On what my heart had known for oh so long...

I love you.

It was easier to say than I had supposed,
But the words held a hidden weight
That I had not counted on finding...
Water must cry a lot when it freezes--
For when I felt the sensation, I couldn't
Hold back the steady rivulets from my cheeks.
They poured down and pored over my exposed self,
Mocking, judging, condescending, and loathing.

You were silent.

And now... I look back on my first love
With a slightly heavy heart.
I cannot think back on you without some regret--
I gave you my all but you could not promise the same.
I understand, now, but it still hurts to know
That my first bout with love ended in
Utter and complete--complete as the night is
Black and cold--failure...

I see now why we could never be.
Inequality in Love breeds only heartache.

--C.R.E.

Unexpected

Where did you come from
And how did you come to
Suddenly mean so much to me?
I mean... I know you,
And have for years...
But never have I felt such
Things for you as I now
Know to be springing within me.
What do they mean?
I can't say for certain--
But I will find, dear... friend?
For our sake.

--C.R.E.

Sonnet

Nature is surely smiling at my good
Fortune and I know that I have reason
To beam back. Now I know, but never would
I have guessed before that you'd find season
With a simple being like me. But oh,
You have and it seems to be eternal.
Earth is not just smiling at but also
It seems to be to be smiling upon a fool
Like me. I've found the one thing which I sought--
That is, to love and be loved in return--
And certainly the battle was hard-fought,
But worthy of the greatest of my turns.
Thank the sky for the perfect gift of you!
Where would I be had you not caught my view?

--C.R.E.

Brother

I'll wait for the answer,
Though I fear that it may be
Something different than I wish.

Will he be okay? Will he make it through?
Will I find closure if he doesn't?
Will I ever find another piece
To fix up my life? To lose a friend...
Will I be okay?

Death is a gateway to a place
Far-off and beautiful...
Can you walk there alone?
I'd go if I thought you'd wish my company.
But no! You say that "This is the way
That it was always meant to go."

I don't know whether or not
I can buy into those words,
But I cling to them all the same.
I will forever love that spiritual
Brother... Wherever our paths
Lead us--here or beyond the grave.

--C.R.E.