The Void

Dulled eyes and ringing ears--
Nothing else is real.
Numbness has overruled feeling
And all clarity has hazed
Until the lines that make up my life
Are barely perceptible.
I stare and wonder at the emptiness
Before my eyes as I make
Sad attempts to come to terms
With the emotional vacuum
That I have constructed from the shreds
Of my once-prismatic heart.
Where have I gone?
What is my name now?
How have I changed so,
Fallen so far?
Face-to-face with a hollow shell
And descending rapidly into
A self-made infernal nightmare,
I stare into the void
And the void glowers back at me.
It doesn't beckon--not really--
Nor call with its sirens;
It has no need--I am already
Entrapped by its bleakness,
Enthralled by its austerity,
And enraptured by its emptiness.
And, oh, how I long to leave!
I am pulled both back and forth
And can go nowhere!
How long must I sit and contemplate
Unending nothingness?
Pain, joy, gratitude, anger...
I beg anything but this crushing apathy!
And, slowly, imperceptible at first,
A light glows on the horizon
And the void begins to desperately
Vie again for dominance of my attention.
A flush of color comes to my
Pasty and lifeless face.
Pain and joy twain,
Life and death as one,
And understanding finally achieved,
I leave the void behind
And embark on a new journey that promises
Sorrow and love,
Bitterness and absolution,
Hate and caring...
Life is lived again
And the emptiness that all must face
Finally finds its end in a simple truth:
Without hurt, hollow hearts abound.

C.R.E.